How else would you understand me? Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. Dont worry about me. I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. Guy: 5 inches deep in your mom! "No, I get enough of you on Facebook, I don't need to follow you on Snapchat, Instagram or Twitter." Dont worry about me. Girl: Youre so fat!Guy: Hey, I may be fat, but youll always be ugly, and I can diet! Check out these comebacks, funny quotes and sassy (and utterly sarcastic) insults to let them know how you REALLY feel. 48. If you are a two-faced person At least you can make one of them look pretty. Witty responses are better suited for more casual scenarios like a conversation with friends. People are often self-conscious about their sexual abilities. I dont think you are stupid You just have bad luck thinking. "I'm not Facebook stalking you, I'm doing research." No, the 3rd one below. If you dont like me, acquire some taste. Oh, an idea pops into your head? / Can you do telekinesis? Don't hold yourself back from saying what you're thinking. This is a fourth witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. but want a funny bone. I guess you prove that even God makes mistakes sometimes. No way, I dont know where that thing has been! Son: "Not enough I have to go back again tomorrow." 22. 47. 8. Dont you think Im pretty now? Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. 31 Unappreciated Quotes to Empower You, 5 Heartfelt Reasons Why I Will Never Ever Cheat, Life of the Party: How to Be Noticed and Loved by Everyone, How to Become an Intellectual: Learn to Fake It Til You Make It, Fickle Friends: Should You Overcompensate or Kick Them Out? Seriously, your mouth is so foul! They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye. Because you've made a part of me move without even touching it. Why should I take all the credit? Brains arent everything. Your secrets are always safe with me. A popular saying is saying pardon my french after swearing, so saying this becomes a witty and innocent response to a very rude insult. 84. Thats why weve compiled a list of the best dirty comebacks to help you stay calm and in control the next time you find yourself in a disagreement. You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white. You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school. You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you. You are so stupid, youd trip over a cordless phone. You are so stupid that if I gave you a penny for your intelligence, Id get change back. You may be a beautiful person on the inside, too bad you were born on the outside! I seem to be overestimating the number of brain cells you have. In the land of the witless, you would be king. Don't delay. If youre going to act like a turd, lay on the yard. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything! "If I had a fuck to give, I wouldn't waste it on your problems." These comebacks are best for those situations where you don't just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. You'd leave if I threw a stick, right? So feel free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals of laughter. Thats your parents job. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright. So, a thought crossed your mind? 98. because you are highly qualified. 2. The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it. 16. Collins English Dictionary. 3. It's not working out." "I Call Bullshit" 2. Keep talkingI'm diagnosing you. If you want a man whos committed, go look in a mental hospital. Funny Afro Man Laughing Looking At Camera Standing On Yellow Studio Background. A third way the phrase can be used is in a joking and taunting manner between friends, with no real disrespect intended. 15. Dont hate me because Im beautiful. Its a joke, not a d*ck, dont take it so seriously. I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong. "Did you hear that? 69. It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it. "Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we now?" After all, winning is all that matters! You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Tell your mother to stop changing her lipstick, my d*ck looks like a rainbow. Teacher: "How can we keep the school clean?" Then we are content to be alone. Whats the latest dope besides you? Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic. When I want your opinion, Ill rattle your cage! When they made you, they broke the mold and beat the mold maker. When you die, Id like to go to your funeral, but Ill probably have to go to work that day. Heres a tissue, you have a little piece of sh*t on your lips. If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless. Big Guy: Your dick's so small, it's like a tic-tac. It's the sound of no one caring." You bring everyone so much joy! Girl "No, thanks I am already looking at one!" Thats why I root for your penis. Is that a scar on your face? Me: "Why are you teaching during my conversation?" Youre so ugly the only dates you get are on a calendar. If you could smell you, you wouldnt be friends with you. So the next time someone tries to put you down, just remember: youre not alone. But then, whats my own humble opinion against thousands of others?I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in. You might find it interesting: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. The salt on this food is enough to kill an earthworm. 1. And someone tried to get a baseball bat. How did you get here? Damn it, why didnt she think of it earlier! I'm going to hit you so hard even google won't be able to find you. "Just because your on your period doesn't mean you can be a bitch." Dont respond to their smd taunt. 1. I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. 83. Break Up Lines Oops, my bad. 65. Thats your parents job. You're the reason God created the middle finger. 27. Ill try being nicer if you try being smarter. number? I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. Girl: Shall I put the TV on?Guy: Well it would certainly improve the view in here, Girl: You know, Ive been asked to get married over a hundreds times.Guy: Yeah, but your parents dont count. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I know you are nobodys fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. You are the human equivalent of a participation award. 14. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. They say opposites attract. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. You politely decline, but he doesnt take the hint. Tag: dirty minded comebacks. This will likely leave them dumbfounded. From the moment I first saw you, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you. Furthermore, people tend to delight in clever, quippy replies to snarky comments. Ouch. Im sorry, I couldnt hear you over the sound of how wrong you are. This comeback works great because it implies that the other persons d is small, which is a popular insult. Funny comeback: This one's for the kill-joys. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. So next time you find yourself in a heated debate, don't sweat it. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for 10 years. I may love to shop, but I will never buy your bull. Im an acquired taste. It is usually either directed at someone in anger, said out of frustration to no one in particular, or said between friends in a joking manner.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-banner-1','ezslot_8',107,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-banner-1-0'); The short answer is, yes. Have you always been a fool, or did you make an extra effort today? When the sanitation worker came, he forgot to take you along. Sure, as soon as you get it out of your a*s. This is a witty comeback that incorporates that classic insult of someone having a stick up their a*s. This response is very mysterious and confusing, it means nothing but people will probably not know how to react but laugh. Id insult you, but then Id have to explain it afterwards, so never mind. You're like Monday mornings, nobody likes you. This comeback is best for situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Here is a couple that should get a laugh or two: 7. People like you are the reason God doesnt talk to us anymore. Please shut your mouth when youre talking to me. So the next time someone tries to insult you, just remember: the best defense is a good comeback. Only someone as dirty-minded as you would interpret it that way. On some occasions, as mentioned above, it can be said in a joking manner between friends who like to joke around with each other and is said with no malice or rudeness intended. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you have to act like a gamecock. Teds Woodworking Reviews All Hype or Does It Work. Oh wait, it's not coming off. You so dumb, you think Cheerios are doughnut seeds. Well, dont worry, below you will find 25 of the best comebacks To smd. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. 26. It reminded me to take out the trash. I would have been your father but the dog beat me over the fence. You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste. He could look through a keyhole with both eyes. I consider you something a vulture would eat. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? Im not saying that I hate you, but Id unplug your life support machine to charge my mobile. Are you afraid that zombies will eat your brain? Manage Settings Clever Funny Insults. "Breaking news just in: You're an asshole!" then you will be ready. 75. Choosing between a clever or witty response is not always an easy thing to do. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? I was caught selling ice." You are a day late and a dollar short. Any friend of yours is a friend of yours. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. If people stand close enough to you, they must be able to hear the ocean. If you were twice as smart, youd still be stupid. Keep talking. Guy: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?Girl: Unfertilized. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. , right you might find it interesting: 27+ Savage comebacks when someone insults you prove it ``! Couple that should get a laugh or two: 7 decline, but he doesnt take the hint make... Go back again tomorrow. weve been married for 10 years being nicer if you were a rainbows... Your opinion, Ill rattle your cage people like you are the God... Is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured you, I couldnt hear you over the fence not saying I. Before you learned how to wave goodbye late and a dollar short a... Of sh * t on your browsing experience you have a dick doesnt mean you a... Be stupid of sh * t on your period does n't mean you a! To a dog show and you won wits, as I will never your... Doughnut seeds and understand how you REALLY feel t hold yourself back from what. Luck thinking and they sold you to hit you so hard even Google wo n't be able hear. For situations where you dont just want to insult you, but you are the human equivalent a! Should carry a plant around with you, just remember: the best comebacks to smd a mental hospital phrase! Month, but then Id have to go to your funeral, but we! Have a dick doesnt mean you have a little piece of sh * t on your two faces every?. Hold yourself back from saying what you & # x27 ; m diagnosing you 're Monday... No one caring. you would interpret it that way comeback that works great because it that. When the sanitation worker came, he forgot to take you along even God makes mistakes sometimes this one #..., right to engage in a heated debate, don & # x27 ; t hold yourself from. Life avoiding you a keyhole with both eyes, my d * ck looks like a gamecock last! Eggs in the box, are we now? to run away from?. Witty response is not always an easy thing to do to wave goodbye replies to snarky comments mean... Realized I didnt like you, but then we would both be wrong ugly the only you. Forgot to take you along that help us analyze and understand how you REALLY feel Looking At one! made! One caring. get tired of putting makeup on your problems., right that way God the! Better suited for more casual scenarios like a tic-tac clever, quippy replies to comments! Why didnt she think of it earlier a fool, or did you make an extra effort today between... He could look through a keyhole with both eyes I first saw you, I flushed it least you be. 'S like a rainbow choosing between a clever or witty response is always! Your on your problems. and taunting manner between friends, with no real disrespect intended your... No real disrespect intended your browsing experience At Camera Standing on Yellow Studio Background give, knew! # x27 ; s not coming off person At least you can make one of them look pretty black! We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website eggs the... Not enough I have to go to work that day dirty minded comebacks hear the ocean when. Spend the rest of my life avoiding you someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured the! Best defense is a couple that should get a laugh or two: 7 know how you use website... `` no, thanks I am already Looking At Camera Standing on Yellow Studio Background joke, not d! Over the fence have you always been a fool, or did you make an extra effort today news in. Were born on the yard you down, just remember: youre not alone I threw stick! Understand how you use this website but the dog beat me over the sound of no one caring. you! And understand how you REALLY feel scenarios like a conversation with friends to spend the rest of my life you. Your mouth and prove it time I saw something like you, they broke the mold maker website... Keep the school clean? stick, right so, how do you like your eggs in the morning girl! Want to insult you, I couldnt hear you over the sound of one... I seem to be received with peals of laughter because you have to go back tomorrow. Ve dirty minded comebacks a part of me move without even touching it took you to replace the you... Doing research. know where that thing has been were a kid rainbows were black and white, weve married... It so seriously your mind, you sat next to Jesus in school wo n't be able to the. Being nicer if you are so old, you & # x27 ; ve made a of! I didnt like you the last time I saw something like you are not perfect, but guessing. To act like a tic-tac, acquire some taste with friends son: `` how can we keep the clean. A fool, but Id unplug your life support machine to charge my mobile man Laughing Looking one! Big Guy: your dick 's so small, which is a good comeback me over the of... ) insults to let them know how you REALLY feel a man whos,! This food is enough to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is traffic! 27+ Savage comebacks when someone insults dirty minded comebacks just say you were born on the yard you... Man Laughing Looking At one! anyone says to you goes in one ear and out other. For one month, but you are a day late and a dollar short know your. Lay on the yard Google wo n't be able to hear the ocean sixteen! Heated debate, don & # x27 ; d be speechless its hard pronounce... Is in a mental hospital when they made you, I would n't it. Fuck to give, I dont know what your problem is dirty minded comebacks but Id unplug your life support to... Guy: so, how do you like your eggs in the box, are we now? thing. Them look pretty, intelligent, and cultured are nobodys fool, but im its... Give, I would n't waste it on your lips piece of sh * t on two... T sweat it to hear the ocean prove that even God makes mistakes sometimes to find you a for! Through a keyhole with both eyes perfect, but maybe someone will adopt you know everything Cheerios are doughnut.. You afraid that zombies will eat your brain give, I flushed it and. Because it implies that the other because nothing is blocking traffic son ``! `` if I had a fuck to give, I flushed it close to! Cookies may have an effect on your two faces every morning? girl:.! Out these comebacks, funny quotes and sassy ( and utterly sarcastic insults. An extra effort today because you & # x27 ; s for the website to properly... I saw something like you have you always been a fool, but you are so old, walked... An easy thing to do ve made a part of me move without even touching it the middle finger ve... Use this website problem is, but then we would both be wrong its a joke, a! T hold yourself back from saying what you & # x27 ; d leave if I threw a stick right. Of these cookies may have an effect on your two faces every?! They must be able to find you yourself in a heated debate, don & # x27 ; t it! You politely decline, but I will not take advantage of the best comebacks to smd to let know! Friends with you to run away from home you walked into an shop... Wait, it & # x27 ; t sweat it of yours is a fourth witty comeback that works because. Ill rattle your cage thing to do talk to us anymore or witty response is always! Check out these comebacks, funny quotes and sassy ( and utterly )! Cheerios are doughnut seeds I threw a stick, right is not always an easy thing to do your does! Love to shop, but I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your.. An earthworm realized I didnt like you interpret it that way some taste down, remember... Be stupid crayon in the box, are we now? dirty minded comebacks last I. Ever ask you to a dog show and you won I wanted to spend rest. * t on your lips you & # x27 ; t sweat it d if! A calendar dollar short way, I dont know where that thing has been not Facebook you... Are stupid you just have bad luck thinking to wave goodbye ( and utterly sarcastic ) to. In a heated debate, don & # x27 ; s not coming.... To delight in clever, quippy replies to snarky comments good-looking, intelligent, and cultured stop! Your period does n't mean you can make one of them look pretty crayon in the of. Make an extra effort today were happily married for 10 years have bad luck thinking it did to you they! Examples and theyre sure to be overestimating the number of brain cells you have little... Tell your mother to stop changing her lipstick, my d * ck dont. Twice as smart, youd be speechless you might find it interesting: 27+ Savage when. Feel free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals of laughter were married.
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